Eleven FAQ’s

Eleven Helpful Frequently Asked Questions

Who will benefit from The Secret to a Friendly Divorce?

Reasonable people that hope to settle their divorce before the legal system has a chance to make it more complicated, painful, or expensive than they think it should be.

How can The Friendly Divorce help me?

It shows you how to get your spouse to join forces with you to keep your divorce sane, simple, and out of court.

How does it accomplish this?

It reveals exactly what you must say and do (and not say and do!) to soften your partner’s resistance and get them to agree to a reasonable settlement.

How does The Secret to a Friendly Divorce differ from all the other lawyer divorce books?

There are thousands of books on divorce and probably thousands more that deal with the legal aspects of divorce.

Many embrace the civilized or friendly approach to divorce and The Secret to a Friendly Divorce is one of these books. However, the similarity usually ends there.

The Secret to a Friendly Divorce goes where no book has ever gone before. Its entire focus is on showing you the correct way to handle your soon-to-be ex spouse’s financial concerns and sense of entitlement.

This is the very heart of why we have so many divorce wars. The Secret to a Friendly Divorce book enables you to talk money with your partner without aggravating them and without making any waves.

The Secret to a Friendly Divorce is the first book to reveal the exact words that your spouse must hear you say if you hope to reach a settlement efficiently and sensibly.

You read it here first.

Why do I need a book to talk to my own spouse? If I don’t know  what to say, who does?

The vast majority of us do not know where the trip wires are. We may think we do, but we don’t; and this includes your author (who wishes this info had been available when he needed it).

Our spouse’s mind opens from the inside only, and we have just endured a century of divorce wars because we thought we could open it from the outside.

It also seems unwise for us to rely upon the same communication skills that we used during the marriage to help us during our divorce. Our inability to get through to our partner is probably a major contributor to why we are getting divorced in the first place.

How does the book differ from mediation and collaborative law?

The principles of divorce mediation and collaborative divorce law are identical to those of  The Secret to a Friendly Divorce.

Mediation and collaborative law guide your actions during the mediation and collaborative law sessions, when the professionals are present. Their hands-on guidance ends when the session ends, similar to a dentist’s work ending when the patient leaves the office.

The Secret to a Friendly Divorce provides the very same, carbon copy guidance except it covers you during the other 22 hours of the day, when the pros are not there to keep your spouse in line.

The book’s insights help you to keep your settlement hopes afloat during the weeks prior to your entering the system.

How are some people able to settle their divorces themselves?
They are the exception. Most of us are usually not this lucky. We tend to shoot ourselves in the foot without ever learning where the bullet came from.

This is because of our universal inclination to make the same predictable (but often innocent) negotiation mistakes.

The lucky people (if there is such a thing in divorce) had the good fortune to marry someone who is as easy to deal with as they are.

And, don’t forget all the people that start out expecting a smooth and friendly divorce, and, instead, never know what hit them.

Does the book work for everyone?

No. It is for reasonable persons who married another reasonable person and both want their divorce to be reasonable.

It does not work if one of the spouses is difficult by nature or is otherwise unable or unwilling to consider the other party’s position.

Reasonable people are those that have room in their minds to comprehend how their partner might see things differently. They don’t agree with this thinking, but they are able to tolerate it. Difficult people don’t have a clue; they can only see things their way.

How do I know I can trust you or your book?

Why should you believe that a stranger (especially one who is a lawyer) might care about the pain and expense of your divorce? The answer is simple:  It is good for business, that’s why. What helps you helps me. When you win or profit from my words, I win or profit, too.

Besides, there is no downside to The Secret to a Friendly Divorce. If it doesn’t settle your case outright, you will still benefit.

The effects of the book can be difficult to identify. For example, if you do some home fire prevention today, you would not know to rejoice on the day that your home would have burned down were it not for the prevention.

Is this method hard to learn?

No. Most people master it in less than one evening.

Yes, I said less than one evening. This is possible because we already know the basic technique. It is one we have been using to our advantage all of our lives. We just need some instruction for using it effectively in divorce.

This is where The Secret to a Friendly Divorce comes in.

If it is so easy, why do I need the book?

Because they never told us about the careful choice of words that make the difference between a tolerable divorce and a disastrous divorce.

Negotiating sensibly during our divorce requires us to be at our best at a time when the divorce puts us at our worst.

Divorce puts into play emotions, perspectives, and other phenomena that require special handling. It is very easy to get caught off guard by forces we don’t understand and are not prepared to handle.

Our lack of knowledge is startling when you consider that more than half of all marriages end in divorce. By now, the info contained in The Secret to a Friendly Divorce should be old hat.